We often talk about self-care, as moms, in a general sense. When you’re a new parent it’s, “Sleep when the baby sleeps!” When your child is a bit older it’s, “Make sure to have date nights!” When your kids start school and you become wrapped up in their routines–the homework, the extra-curricular activities, even making dinners and lunches–self-care is relegated to post-bedtime Netflix watching with a glass of wine or tea.
Does your self-care bucket feel full, fellow moms? I’m going to hazard a guess that it doesn’t. That’s mostly due to the fact that my own bucket doesn’t feel full, after months of a similar way of living. We have to do better for ourselves. For our sanity.
If you happen to be the type of human who feels that raising your children is what fills you up, I’m not here to judge. You do you and feel free to move on. For the rest of you, though, I’m here to issue a challenge as the summer months approach: take time for you. Identify what you need to feel refreshed and rejuvenated this summer, so that you’re not pulling your hair out by September already.
I’m not issuing this challenge because I’ve mastered self-care. On the contrary; my commitment to self-care is miserable. I’m writing this for me as much as anyone else. Here is what I plan to do, in order to make this whole self-care thing happen for me:
- Identify five small things I can do to take care of myself. The five small things need to be stuff I can partake in pretty much daily. That means taking a moment to be in the moment and breathe for 30 seconds, or going for a 15-minute walk, or even washing my face at the end of the day. Yes, I admit that I don’t always bother to do this. Having identified five things, I will do one of them every day, for the duration of the summer. New habits.
- Identify five big things I can do to take care of myself. These don’t need to be done every day, they can be larger actions that you partake in every week or month. Maybe it’s going to yoga or pilates once a week, or scheduling coffee or drinks with a close friend once a month. Or maybe it’s something fabulous like getting a pedicure more than once this summer. There’s an idea! I’ll commit to doing one of these things every week.
- Prioritize sleep. Oh my god, this is so much more difficult than it should be. It means saying no to the second show on Netflix, or opting out of a second drink on date night, but it’s so worth it. Truly, nothing is better than getting enough sleep.
- Prioritize conversation. There are evenings when I realize I haven’t spoken to a soul over six years old all day. That’s okay every once in a while, but on a regular basis, it’s a recipe for disaster. And texting does not count, for so many reasons. This will be hard for me, but talking to real live people is good for the psyche, so I’m going to make it happen.
- Schedule regular date nights. This seems so cliché, especially after I mentioned this exact suggestion at the beginning of this post, but if you’re not taking care of your relationship, how happy are you, really? I might have rolled my eyes at this a year ago, but time for adult conversation with your partner before the end of the day is highly underrated and a key part to actually successfully planning your life, instead of living it on the fly.
I’ll be the first person to admit this isn’t a perfect plan. It is, however, a plan that is the beginning of making myself more of a priority than I have been in years. If you’d like to join me, I challenge you to share your commitment here in the comments, and we can take this trip together.
