There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my son.
While his loss has shaken me to my core and changed my life forever, I also have such beautiful memories of being his mom, feeding him, singing to him, making him laugh, giving him a bubble bath and letting him fall asleep in my arms. The bittersweet feelings that those memories bring me are a mixture of the deepest pain but also the great joy in having known his love.
But then, I put myself in the shoes of other women who didn't have those moments. Women, Mothers, who never had the chance to really love, hold or even meet their babies and I'm at a loss for words.
When you lose a child, whether it was after 2 months, 5 months, 9 months or 3 years, your life as a mom is never quite the same. The hole in your heart is never filled and while life moves on, it never feels complete again. This is a feeling that you can't explain, to your husband, to your friends or to your family. Sometimes, you are fortunate to connect with another mother who has felt this grief and you can finally let your feelings out, share the emptiness or just cry together for your shared loss.
We hope that by sharing these posts, you might understand how a close friend or family member might be feeling, or you will feel like you are NOT alone.
How to Help a Friend with the Loss of a Preterm Baby by momstown team
Maya's Stillbirth Story by momstown Edmonton
My Secret by momstown, Georgina
Living Through Miscarriage by Guest Blogger, Alexandria Durrell
October 15th by Guest Blogger, PAIL (Pregnancy and Infant Loss) Network
A quote that I love is from Elizabeth Edwards after the death of her son, Wade.
“If I had lost a leg, I would tell them, instead of a boy, no one would ever ask me if I was ‘over’ it. They would ask me how I was doing learning to walk without my leg. I was learning to walk and to breath and to live without Wade. And what I was learning is that it was never going to be the life I had before.”
– by Heather Hamilton, momstown Media contributor and @TJZMommy.